WHO I AM!

It was so easy once,
to win.
It is so easy now 
to lose.

Who am I?
i do not know.
What has changed?
Everything.

Have I changed?...
yes...

What once came naturally
now feels like climbing Everest.
What once seemed easy,
now requires fatal effort.

yet, who I am
and who I am becoming
are two very different people.

And still I find it
as hard to forgive myself
as I find it easy
to forgive others.

And who I am
Is not even worth a glance.

Unable to achieve
what the commoner can,
unable to believe 'I CAN',
unable to repay to those 
who gave up their lives for me.

Who am I?
Why am I not what I wish to be?
Why, every time I try,
I fail miserably.

Why can't I push myself forward,
Why does the past keep haunting
every step I take forth,
a voice in my ear,
"you couldn't do that,
how can you do this?"

Questions like,
'What makes you think you are capable'
Answers like,
'you're worthless'.

And now time is running away,
no time left
to figure out the answers,
to find out who I am.

To work like a donkey
without reason
I never knew.

And yet time is slipping by...

How to let go of my past mistakes,
how to make myself believe
I am getting better,
even though I am,
when even the closest
don't believe in me anymore.

How to succeed
when past failures keep haunting me
when every moment I feel 'I can',
my mind tells me 
'you can't, worthless'

What to do,
when conscience becomes a curse,
when retrospection becomes weakness,
when perception yields only frustrations.

What to do,
when even the more worthless
are getting more success.

How to fight
myself
when I need all the strength
to fight the world.

How,
with every single sole
believing firmly I can't?

How...

How indeed....

FIGHTERS DON'T LET GO.

Hold on....

When no one believes in you,
you believe in yourself.

When time for retrospection goes by,
let ruthlessness take over.
So was Churchill,
So Napoleon,
So was Einstein,
So Edison....

When you've got nothing
you got nothing to lose.

Hell with others,
it's you who matters.

Why believe,
when you can achieve.

Why retrospect?

we are all our doppelgangers.
and those who don't make mistakes,
don't succeed.

Forget the one thousand nine hundred
ninety eight times
that you could not make a bulb.
Remember,
there is always a two thousandth time 
when you can.

Forgive those who think you can't,
they are yet unwise.

Forget worth,
the greatest value is of zero

Forget people,
Tesla was rendered useless.

Forget failure,
Spieldberg never went to Julliard either.

SUCCESS IS WHEN YOU DEEM IT.

Those with higher aims,
don't win at every turn point.

Forgive and forget
who you were,
even Time travel can't bring it back.

Who you were 
is not who you are,
who you will be,
is not what define you now.

So, forgive and forget
for what defines you now,
is who you are...