This is one of those moments
When life seems as confusing and unmanageable
As a silent sea beneath the starry sky.
There is no tempest
Yet there is no tide,
There is no light
Yet there are the stars.
There is purpose
Yet there is the confusion masking the will to work.
There is focus
Yet there is no energy to learn.
When solitary time starts feeling like isolation,
When alone stops being different from lonely,
When independence starts suffocating,
Clinginess takes over love.
Where is the ‘I’ll do it myself’ attitude,
Where is the ‘I like being with myself’ feeling?
Why being alone in the room
Feels like abandonment
Rather than optimum time to work?
Why the half hour break
When everyone walks their way
Reduces me to tears than inspire me to take the books out?
Why motivation is required to work,
What is the need for a pep talk
Every time I am left alone?
Why does it take every last bit of energy
To not feel helpless when alone?
This was not me,
This is not what I had wanted to be!
Then why the dependence
Why the need for company than just want?
Why do I need distractions
To keep my thoughts in check when work should be enough?
Where does this lead me
If it does lead me anywhere?
Where is the road I meant to take?
Where is the life I meant to live?
Why am I becoming a burden on those who love me?
Why am I becoming a liability than the pillar of strength?
Where is the maturity now?
Where did the independence of thought get lost?
Where is the sense of balance?
Where is the ‘I’…
